Have you ever felt like you just don’t belong? Like you only made it onto the varsity team or had gotten into a competitive school just out of luck or good fortune? This, my friend, is imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is the feeling that you’ve only scraped by through a source of luck or by fooling others into believing you. This feeling is fueled by deep insecurity about the work you put in and your accomplishments, always anxious that you’ll be exposed as a fraud.
A recent survey from the firm Moneypenny confirmed that nearly one-third of Americans say they suffer from impostor syndrome. So why is this so common?
Today, we will dig deeper into why this self-sabotaging syndrome is initiated in the first place, and what steps you can take to mitigate it.
Why Does Success Often Feel Like Failure?
To understand how we can alleviate imposter syndrome, we first need to understand its complex nature. There are 2 main factors that develop this feeling:
Factor #1: Current Status Perception
We can look at status as a ladder. The higher the position, the higher step on the ladder. Within a company, there are entry-level, managers, vice presidents, and C-level executives. Athletics has regional, national, Olympic, and world-record performers.
Although this “status ladder” displays a large variety of highly valued positions ahead of us, we tend to make a habit of emphasizing our relative position within it. As such, we see the rungs just above and below us in much greater detail than the ones that are quite distant from our current level on the ladder.
For me, all the rungs of achievement much above me are far enough away that I can basically ignore them. Renowned guitar players. World-famous authors. Prominent medical professionals. These levels, or rungs, are so beyond my experience that they don’t cause any anxiety or insecurity.
However, I am more aware of the people just above my rung. More competitive high schoolers. Intermediate guitar players. Over time, I developed a habit of comparing myself to these levels, which, in turn, caused the common symptoms of imposter syndrome.
The problem with this perception of status is that once you get to a higher level, the next rung suddenly becomes visible. Once I began to learn the basics of a guitar, I then began to look at skilled guitar players (the next level up), which I had never really focused on before.
Famed poet, Maya Angelou once wrote:
“I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”
Angelou had enhanced her writing capabilities enough to write 11 books, yet she still felt like she was there by luck or by fooling others into thinking she was a skilled writer.
This becomes an endless cycle of improving and still feeling like you haven’t achieved anything. No matter how many rungs you climb, there will always be another way to improve. Once I become a skilled guitar player, I’ll start looking at guitarists who play in bands, then famous guitar players, and so on and so forth.
Insecurity, therefore, comes from the over-emphasis on the rung above you, rather than the recognition of the rungs you’ve already climbed and the obstacles you’ve already surpassed. Angelou never seemed to recognize and appreciate the work she had accomplished, so she inherited the fear of others “figuring her out.”
In other words, you feel lucky that you got to your position because you’re always looking at someone who’s better than you, rather than looking at your true, current value.
Factor #2: Overestimation of Others
The other big factor that fuels imposter syndrome is how people are oblivious to the true feeling of others.
The fact that others seem so confident, secure, and full of self-esteem may reinforce your belief that your own doubts are proof of your illegitimacy. People tend to get into a habit of overestimating others at the dispense of their own self-image.
When asked how much alcohol they thought their peers drank, college students grossly overestimated the partying of their peers. Everyone else, it seems, is having a raucous time and it’s just you who is boring and alone.
This is a rabbit hole that many people seem to fall through. It seems that your brain likes to pick and choose the best parts about other people to make you feel insignificant. If you could see the reality (most people aren’t getting laid and partying as much as you think) then you’d probably feel more secure in yourself.
The saying “never judge a book by its cover” really stands true here. Making assumptions based on surface appearance is going to be one of the main sources of anxiety and insecurity that deepens imposter syndrome.
In addition to staying focused on yourself and appreciating what you’ve already accomplished (factor 1), being aware of the reality within others will also allow you to pin yourself to a better mindset.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
The first thing I would recommend is to internalize the fact that your symptoms are no different from the people around you.
That much of the seeming confidence and bravado people display is really thinly covering up their own doubts about themselves. However, we can’t blatantly see this in people at first; making everyone else seem just fine while our own mental flaws seem unique and incurable.
This then causes us to isolate ourselves from others because we feel like we don’t belong and we got lucky to be in a good position, ultimately fueling the flame of imposter syndrome.
Once you see self-doubt and insecurity, not as a unique disorder you exhibit, but as something that impacts many people, it’s a lot easier to get comfortable with those feelings.
I would also try to take a softer view when evaluating others and their accomplishments. Know that the mind prefers to praise others and keep a steady image of yourself.
As I said before, the mind likes to pick specific surface factors from people to make them seem almost perfect, when really they have their own deeper issues to deal with themselves.
I don’t know of any way to cover you in a bullet-proof shield of endless confidence. In fact, I’m not even sure one exists. But, altering your mental perspective to feel more comfortable in the position you’ve reached is something we can all aim for.